Labyrinth Script

The following is the script for the movie Labyrinth.


[Music]:    It's only forever
            Not long at all
            Lost and lonely
            No one can blame you
            For walking away
            But too much rejection, uh-huh
            No love injection, no
            Life can be easy
            It's not always swell
            Don't tell me truth hurts, little girl
            'Cause it hurts like hell
            But down in the underground
            You'll find someone true
            Down in the underground
            A land serene
            A crystal moon
            Ah-hah
            It's only forever
            It's not long at all
            Lost and lonely
            That's underground
            Underground

Sarah:      Give me the child.  Through dangers untold and hardships
            unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond
            the goblin city to take back the child that you have stolen,
            for my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great.

            [thunder]

Sarah:      For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom as great.
            Damn.  I can never remember that line.  "You have no
            power over me."

            [thunder]

            [dog barks]

Merlin:     Ruff!

Sarah:      Oh, Merlin.

            [clock chimes]

Sarah:      Oh, no, Merlin! I don't believe it! It's 7:00! Come on! Come
            on!

[Music]:    No one can blame you
            For walking away
            But too much rejection, uh-huh
            No love injection, no, no
            Life can be easy
            It's not always swell
            Don't tell me truth hurts, little girl
            'Cause it hurts like hell
            Hurts like hell
            Hurts like hell
            Hurts like hell...

Sarah:      Oh, it's not fair!

Mother:     Oh, really!

Sarah:      I'm sorry.

Mother:     Well don't stand there in the rain!  Come on.

Sarah:      All right.  Come on, Merlin.  Come on.

Mother:     Not the dog!

Sarah:      But it's pouring!

Mother:     Go on.  Into the garage.

Sarah:      Oh!  Go on, Merlin!  Go into the garage, go!

Mother:     Sarah, you're an hour late...

Sarah:      I said I'm sorry!

Mother:     Please, let me finish.  Your father and I go out very rarely--

Sarah:      You go out every single weekend!

Mother:     --and I ask you to baby-sit only if it won't interfere with your
            plans.

Sarah:      Well how do you know?  You don't know what my plans are.  You don't
            even ask me any more.

Mother:     I assume you'd tell me if you had a date.  I'd like it if you
            had a date, y-you should have dates at your age.

Father:     Ah, Sarah, you're home.  We were worried about you.

Sarah:      I can't do anything right, can I?

            [door slams]

Mother:     She treats me like a wicked stempmother in a fairy story no
            matter what I say.

Father:     I'll talk to her.

            [baby cries]

            [music box playing]

Sarah:      Through dangers untold, and hardships unnumbered, I have
            fought my way here to the castle beyond the goblin city, to
            take back the child that you have stolen.

            [knock on door]

Father:     Sarah?  Can I talk to you?

Sarah:      There's nothing to talk about!  You better hurry or you're
            gonna be late.

Father:     Look, we've fed Toby and put him to bed.  We do have to leave now,
            but we'll be back around midnight.

Sarah:      You really wanted to talk to me, didn't you?  Practically
            broke down the door!  Lancelot!  Someone has been in my room
            again!  I hate that!  I hate it!

            [baby cries]

Sarah:      I hate you!  I hate you!  Someone save me!  Someone take me
            away from this awful place!

            [thunder]

Toby:       Waa!

Sarah:      What do you want?  Do you want a story?  Huh?  Okay.  Once
            upon a time, there was a beautiful young girl whose stepmother
            always made her stay home with the baby.  And the baby was a
            spoiled child, and he wanted everything for himself, and the
            young girl was practically a slave.  But what no one knew was
            that the king of the goblins had fallen in love with the girl
            and he had given her certain powers.  So one night, when the
            baby had been particularly cruel to her, she called on the
            goblins for help.

            [snoring]

Goblin:     Listen!

Sarah:      "Say your right words," the goblins said, "and we'll take the
            baby to the goblin city and you will be free."

Goblins:    Ah!

Sarah:      But the girl knew the king of the goblins would keep the baby
            in his castle forever and ever and ever, and turn it into a
            goblin.  And so the girl suffered in silence until one night
            when she was tired from a day of housework and she was hurt by
            the harsh words of her stepmother and she could no longer
            stand it...

Toby:       Waa!

Sarah:      Oh, all right!  All right!  Knock it off.  Come on.  Stop it!
            Stop it!  I'll say the words...  No, I mustn't.  I mustn't
            say...

Goblins:    Uh!

Sarah:      I wish... I wish...

Goblin:     Listen!

Goblin:     She's going to say it!

Goblin:     Say what?

Goblins:    Shut up!

Goblin:     Sorry.

Goblin:     You shut up!

Goblin:     Listen! She’s going to say the words!

Sarah:      I can bear it no longer!  Goblin King!  Goblin King!  Wherever
            you may be, take this child of mine far away from me!

Goblins:	Oh.

Goblin:     That’s not it!

Goblin:     Where’d she learn that rubbish? It doesn’t even start with “I
            wish”!

Sarah:      Oh, Toby, stop it!  Oh I wish I did know what to say to make the
            goblins take you away.

Goblin:     “I wish the goblins would come and take you away right now!”
            That’s not hard, is it?

Sarah:      I wish… I wish…

Goblin:     Did she say it?

Goblins:    Shut up!

Toby:       Waa! Waa! Waa! Waa!

Sarah:      I wish the goblins would come and take you away…
            right now.

            [crying stops]

Sarah:      Toby? Toby, are you all right? Why aren’t you crying?

Goblin:     Hee hee ha!

Sarah:      Uh!

Goblin:     Ho hee ha!

Sarah:      Uh! Uh!

Goblin:     Ha ha ha!

Goblin:     Hee hee hee!

Goblin:     Hee ha!

Goblin:     Hee hee hee!

Goblin:     Hee hee hee!

Sarah:      Uh!  Uh!  Uh… You’re him, aren’t you?  You’re the Goblin
            King?  I want my brother back, please, if it’s all the same.

Jareth:     What’s said is said.

Sarah:      But I didn’t mean it.

Jareth:     Oh, you didn’t?

Sarah:      Please, where is he?

Jareth:     You know very well where he is.

Sarah:      Please bring him back. Please.

Jareth:     Sarah… go back to your room.  Play with your toys and your
            costumes.  Forget about the baby.

Sarah:      I can’t.

Jareth:     I’ve brought you a gift.

Sarah:      What is it?

Jareth:     It’s a crystal, nothing more, but if you turn it this way and
            look into it, it will show you your dreams.  But this is not a
            gift for an ordinary girl who takes care of a screaming baby.
            Do you want it?  Then forget the baby.

Sarah:      I can’t.  It isn’t that I don’t appreciate what you’re trying
            to do for me, but I want my brother back.  He must be so
            scared.

Jareth:     Sarah, don’t defy me.

Sarah:      Ah! Ah!

Goblin:     Arrgh! Hee hee!

Goblins:    Ha ha! Ha ha!

Jareth:     You’re no match for me Sarah.

Sarah:      But I have to have my brother back.

Jareth:     He’s there, in my castle.  Do you still want to look for him?

Sarah:      Is that the castle beyond the goblin city?

Jareth:     Turn back Sarah, turn back before it’s too late.

Sarah:      I can’t.  Don’t you understand that I can’t?

Jareth:     What a pity.

Sarah:      It doesn’t look that far.

Jareth:     It’s farther than you think.  Time is short.  You have 13
            hours in which to solve the labyrinth before your baby brother
            becomes one of us… forever.  Such a pity.

Sarah:      The Labyrinth.  It doesn’t look that hard.  Well… come on,
            feet.

            [trickling sound]

Hoggle:     [singing] Da dee dee.

Sarah:      Excuse me?

Hoggle:     Oh, excuse me!  Oh, it’s you.

Sarah:      Excuse me, but I have to get through this labyrinth.  Can you
            help me?

Hoggle:     Hmm!

Sarah:      Oh, how sweet!

Hoggle:     57!

Sarah:      How could you?

Hoggle:     Ugh!

Sarah:      Poor thing.  You monster!  Ow!  It bit me!

Hoggle:     Ha ha ha, what did you expect fairies to do?

Sarah:      I thought they did nice things… like granting wishes.

Hoggle:     Huh?  Shows what you know, don’t it?  58!

Sarah:      You’re horrible!

Hoggle:     Huh?  No, I ain’t.  I’m Hoggle.  Who are you?

Sarah:      Sarah.

Hoggle:     That’s what I thought.  59!

Sarah:      Do you know where the door to the labyrinth is?

Hoggle:     Oh, maybe.

Sarah:      Well, where is it?

Hoggle:     Oh, you little… 60!  Ha ha!

Sarah:      I said where is it?

Hoggle:     Where is what?

Sarah:      The door!

Hoggle:     What door?

Sarah:      It’s hopeless asking you anything!

Hoggle:     Not if you ask the right questions.

Sarah:      How do I get into the Labyrinth?

Hoggle:     Ah!  Now, that’s more like it.  You gets in… there.
            You’re, ah, really going in there, are you?

Sarah:      Yes. I’m afraid I have to.

Hoggle:     Cozy, isn’t it?  Ho ha ha!  Ha ha ha ha!  Now, would you go
            left or right?

Sarah:      They both look the same.

Hoggle:     Well you’re not gonna get very far.

Sarah:      Which way would you go?

Hoggle:     Me?  I wouldn’t go either way.

Sarah:      Well if that’s all the help you’re going be, then you can just
            leave.

Hoggle:     You know your problem?  You take too many things for granted.
            Take this labyrinth, even if you get to the center, you’ll
            never get out again.

Sarah:      That’s your opinion.

Hoggle:     Well it’s a lot better than yours!

Sarah:      Thanks for nothing Hogwart.

Hoggle:     Oh, it’s Hoggle!  And don’t say I didn’t warn you.  Yeah.

            [slam]

Lichen:     Oh!  Oh!  Who’s she?

Sarah:      What do they mean, “labyrinth”?  There aren’t any turns or
            corners or anything.  This just goes on and on.  Maybe it
            doesn’t.  Maybe I’m just taking it for granted that it
            does…. Oh!  Ah!  Aah!  Uh!  Oh.

Worm:       ‘Allo.

Sarah:      Did you say hello?

Worm:       No, I said ‘allo, but that’s close enough.

Sarah:      You’re a worm, aren’t you?

Worm:       Yeah, that’s right.

Sarah:      You don’t by any chance know the way through this labyrinth,
            do you?

Worm:       Who me?  Nah, I’m just a worm.

Sarah:      Oh.

Worm:       Come inside and meet the missus.

Sarah:      No, thank you.  ButI have to solve this labyrinth, but there
            aren’t any turns or any openings or anything.  It just goes on
            and on!

Worm:       Well you ain’t looking right.  It’s full of openings.  It’s
            just you ain’t seein’ them.

Sarah:      Well where are they?

Worm:       There’s one just across there, right in front of ya.

Sarah:      No, there isn’t.

Worm:       Come inside and have a nice cup of tea.

Sarah:      But there isn’t an opening.

Worm:       Ha ha ha.  Of course there is.  You try walkin’ through it.
            You’ll see what I mean.

Sarah:      What?

Worm:       Go on, go on, then.

Sarah:      But… that’s just wall.  There’s no way through.

Worm:       Things aren’t always what they seem in this place, so you
            can’t take anything for granted.

Sarah:      Hey!

Worm:       Hey!  Hang on!

Sarah:      Thank you.  That was incredibly helpful.

Worm:       But don’t go that way!

Sarah:      What was that?

Worm:       I said, don’t go that way.  Never go that way.

Sarah:      Oh.  Thanks.

Worm:       Oh, if she had kept on going down that way, she’d have gone
            straight to that castle.

            [baby crying]

Sarah:      Toby. I’m coming, Toby.

            [baby crying]

Toby:       Waa!

Goblin:     Go on, get off me!

Goblin:     Get out of the way!

Goblin:     What are you talking about?

Goblin:     Walk, walk, walk!

Goblin:     What’s the matter?

            [blows]

Goblins:    Ha ha ha!  Ha ha ha!  Ha ha ha!

Jareth:     [singing] You remind me of the babe.

Goblin:     [singing] What babe?

Jareth:     [singing] The babe with the power.

Goblin:     [singing] What power?

Jareth:     [singing] The power of voodoo.

Goblin:     [singing] Who do?

Jareth:     [singing] You do.

Goblin:     [singing] Do what?

Jareth:     [singing] Remind me of the babe!

Goblins:    Ha ha ha!

Jareth:     Quiet!  A goblin babe.  Ha ha ha ha!  Ha ha ha ha!  Well?

Goblins:    Ha ha ha ha!  Ha ha ha ha!

Jareth:     [singing]
            I saw my baby
            Crying hard as babe could cry
            What could I do?
            My baby’s love had gone
            And left my baby blue
            Nobody knew
            What kind of magic spell to use

Goblin:     [singing] Slime and snails.

Goblin:     [singing] Or puppy dog’s tails.

Goblin:     [singing] Thunder or lightning.

Jareth:     [singing] And baby said.

Toby:       Ga ga.

Jareth:     [singing]
            Dance magic, dance magic
            Dance magic, dance magic, dance

Goblins:    [singing]
            Put that baby’s spell on me.

Goblin:     Eeeyoo!

Jareth:     [singing]
            Jump magic, jump magic
            Jump magic, jump magic, jump

Goblins:    [singing]
            Put that magic jump on me
            Slap that baby
            Make him free!

Goblin:     Hey, what goes on?  Pasta vazoo?  Is a-writing on the fragging
            walk-walk!  Your mother is a fraggin’ aardvark!

Jareth:     In 9 hours and 23 minutes, you’ll be mine.

Goblins:    Ha ha ha!

Jareth:     [singing]
            I saw my baby
            Trying hard as babe could try
            What could I do?
            My baby’s fun had gone
            And left my baby blue
            Nobody knew
            What kind of magic spell to use

Goblin:     [singing] Slime and snails.

Goblin:     [singing] Puppy dog tails.

Goblin:     [singing] Thunder or lightning.

Jareth:     [singing] And baby said.

Toby:       Yeeah.

Jareth:     [singing]
            Dance magic, dance magic
            Dance magic, dance magic, dance

Goblins:    Put that baby’s spell on me.

Goblin:     Heeehaa!  Bluuuuuu!

Jareth:     [singing]
            Jump magic, jump magic
            Jump magic, jump magic, jump

Goblins:    [singing]
            Put that magic jump on me
            Slap that baby
            Make him free!

Jareth:     [singing]
            Dance magic, dance magic
            Dance magic, dance magic
            Dance magic, dance magic
            Dance magic, dance magic
            Jump magic, jump magic
            Jump magic, jump magic

Goblins:    Put that baby’s spell on me.

Goblin:     You got it?

Goblin:     I got it.

Goblin:     Good.

Goblin:     Shh.

Sarah:      Oh, no.  Someone has been changing my marks.  What a horrible
            place this is!  It’s not fair!

Jim:        That’s right, it’s not fair.

Guards:     Ha ha ha ha!

Jim:        But that’s only half of it.

Sarah:      This was a dead end a minute ago.

Tim:        No that’s the dead end, behind you.

Guards:     Ha ha ha!  Ha ha ha!

Sarah:      It keeps changing!  What am I supposed to do?

Jim:        Well the only way out of here is to try one of these doors.

Tim:        One of them leads to the castle at the center of the
            Labyrinth, and the other one leads to–

Ralph:      Ba ba ba bum!

Tim:        Certain death!

Guards:     Oooooh.

Sarah:      Well which one is which?

Jim:        Uh, we can’t tell you.

Sarah:      Why not?

Jim:        Uh… I, uh… we don’t know.

Tim:        But they do.

Sarah:      Oh.  Then I’ll ask them.

Alph:       Uh, no.  You can’t ask us.  You can only ask one of us.

Ralph:      Mmm-hmm.  It’s in the rules.  And I should warn you that one
            of us always tells the truth, and one of us always lies.
            That’s a rule too.  He always lies.

Alph:       I do not, I tell the truth!

Ralph:      Oh, what a lie!

Tim:        Ha ha ha!

Alph:       He’s the liar!

Sarah:      All right.  Answer yes or no.  Would he tell me that this door
            leads to the castle?

Alph:       Uh… what do you think?  Really?  Yes.

Sarah:      Then the other door leads to the castle, and this door leads
            to certain death.

Guards:     Ooh.

Alph:       How do you know?  He could be telling the truth.

Sarah:      But then you wouldn’t be.  So if you told me the answer is
            yes, I know the answer is no.

Alph:       But I could be telling the truth.

Sarah:      But then he would be lying.  So if you you told me that he
            said yes, I know the answer would still be no.

Alph:       Wait a minute, is that right?

Ralph:      I don’t know, I’ve never understood it.

Guards:     Ha ha ha!

Sarah:      No, it’s right.  I’ve figured it out.  I could never do it
            before.  I think I’m getting smarter.  This is a piece of
            cake!  Aaah!  Yuck!  Help!  Stop it!  Help!

Hands:      What do you mean help?  We are helping.

Hands:      We’re helping hands.

Sarah:      You’re hurting.

Hands:      Would you like us to let go?  Ha ha ha ha!

Sarah:      No!

Hands:      Well then, come on. Which way?

Sarah:      Which way?

Hands:      Up or down?

Sarah:      Oh.

Hands:      Come on, come on.

Hands:      We haven’t got all day.

Hands:      Well, it’s a big decision for her.

Hands:      Which way do you want to go, hmm?

Hands:      Yes, which way?

Sarah:      Well, since I’m pointed that way, I guess I’ll go down.

Hands:      She chose down.

Hands:      She chose down?

Sarah:      Was that wrong?

Hands:      Too late now.  Ha ha ha ha!

Sarah:      Aaah!

            [slam]

Jareth:     She’s in the oubliette.

Goblins:    Ha ha!  Ha ha!

Jareth:     Shut up!  She could not have gotten as far as the oubliette.
            She should have given up by now.

Goblin:     She’ll never give up.

Jareth:     Won’t she?  The dwarf’s about to lead her back to the
            beginning.  She’ll soon give up when she realizes she has to
            start all over again.  Ha ha ha!  Well, laugh.

Goblins:    Ha ha!  Ha ha!  Ha ha!  Ha ha!

Jareth:     Ha ha ha!

            [footsteps]

Sarah:      Who’s there?

Hoggle:     Me.  Ya ha ha ha…

Sarah:      Oh, it’s you.

Hoggle:     Oh, yes, well… I knew you were going to get into trouble as
            soon as I met you, so I’ve come to give you a hand.  Oh,
            you’re looking around now, aren’t you.  I suppose you’ve
            noticed there ain’t no doors, only the hole.  This is an
            oubliette.  Labyrinth’s full of them.

Sarah:      Really? I didn’t know that.

Hoggle:     Oh, don’t sound so smart.  You don’t even know what an oubliette is.

Sarah:      Do you?

Hoggle:     Yes.  It’s a place you put people to forget about them.  Now,
            what you’ve got to do is get out of here.  And it so happens I
            know a short cut out of the whole labyrinth from here.

Sarah:      No!  I’m not giving up now.  I’ve come too far!  No, I’m doing
            ok.

Hoggle:     Of course you are.  But it gets a lot worse from here on in.

Sarah:      Why are you so concerned about me?

Hoggle:     Uh… what?  Well, I am, that’s all.  Nice young girl,
            terrible black oubliette.

Sarah:      You like jewelry, don’t you?

Hoggle:     Why?

Sarah:      If you help me solve the labyrinth, I’ll give you this.  You
            like it, don’t you?-

Hoggle:     Uh… so-so.

Sarah:      Oh.  Okay.

Hoggle:     Uh, uh, tell you what.  You give me the bracelet, and I’ll
            show you the way out of the labyrinth.

Sarah:      You were going to do that anyway.

Hoggle:     Yes, well, that’s what would make it a particularly nice
            gesture on your part.

Sarah:      No.  I-I’ll tell you what.  If you won’t take me to the
            center, take me as far as you can, and then I’ll do it on my
            own.

Hoggle:     What is that, anyway?

Sarah:      Plastic.

Hoggle:     Oohhh.  I don’t promise nothing, but I’ll take you as far as I
            can.  Then you’re on your own, right?

Sarah:      Right.

Hoggle:     Right.  Ooh!  Plastic.  Here we go.  Ah.  Oh!  damn!  Broom
            closet.  Well, can’t be right all the time.  Ah!  This is it.
            Come on, then.  Ooh.  Ha ha ha!  Ah.  Ah.  This way.

Rock face:  Don’t go on.

Rock face:  Go back while you still can.

Rock face:  This is not the way.

Rock face:  Take heed, and go no further.

Rock face:  Beware!  Beware!

Rock face:  Soon it will be too late.

Hoggle:     Yeah, don’t pay any attention to them.  They’re just false
            alarms.  You get them in the labyrinth, especially when you’re
            on the right track.

Rock face:  Oh, no, you’re not.

Hoggle:     Oh, shut up!

Rock face:  Sorry.  Just doing my job.

Hoggle:     Well you don’t have to do it to us.

Rock face:  Beware, for the–

Hoggle:     Just forget it.

Rock face:  Oh, please, I haven’t said it for such a long time.

Hoggle:     Oh, all right.  But don’t expect a big reaction.

Rock face:  No, no, no. of course not.

            [clears throat]

Rock face:  –for the path you will take will lead to certain destruction!
            Thank you very much.

Sarah:      Uh-oh.

Jareth:     Ah.  What have we here?

Hoggle:     Ah, nothing.

Jareth:     Nothing?  Nothing?  Nothing?  Tra la la?

Hoggle:     Your majesty!  What a nice surprise!

Jareth:     Hello, Headwart.

Sarah:      Hogwart.

Hoggle:     Hoggle.

Jareth:     Hoggle, can it be that you’re helping this girl?

Hoggle:     H-h-helping?  In what sense?

Jareth:     In the sense that you’re leading her towards the castle.

Hoggle:     No, no.  I was taking her back to the beginning, your majesty.

Sarah:      What?

Hoggle:     I told her I was gonna help her solve the labyrinth, a little
            trickery on my part, heh heh, but actually–

Jareth:     What is that plastic thing round your wrist?

Hoggle:     Oh.  Oh, this!  Oh, my goodness, where did this come from?

Jareth:     Haggle.

Hoggle:     Hoggle.

Jareth:     Yes, if I thought for one second you were betraying me, I’d
            be forced to suspend you headfirst in the bog of eternal
            stench.

Hoggle:     Oh, no, your majesty!  Not the eternal stench!

Jareth:     Oh, yes, Hoggle!  And you, Sarah.  How are you enjoying my
            labyrinth?

Sarah:      It’s a piece of cake.

Hoggle:     Ohh…

Jareth:     Really?  Then how about upping the stakes?

Sarah:      That’s not fair!

Jareth:     You say that so often.  I wonder what your basis for
            comparison is.  So the labyrinth’s a piece of cake, is it?
            Well let’s see you deal with this little slice.

Hoggle:     Oh, no, the cleaners!

Sarah:      What?

Hoggle:     Run!

Sarah:      Oh!  You ok?  Come on.  Faster!  Hoggle!

Hoggle:     Oh no!  Oh, the cleaners, the bog of eternal stench– you sure
            got his attention!  Ahh!  This is what we need– a ladder.
            Follow me.

Sarah:      How can I trust you now that I know you were taking me back to
            the beginning of the labyrinth?

Hoggle:     I wasn’t.  I told him I was taking you back to the beginning
            just to throw him off the scent.

Sarah:      Hoggle, how can I believe anything you say?

Hoggle:     Well, let me put it this way… what choice have you got?

Sarah:      You’re right.

Hoggle:     See, you’ve got to understand my position.  I’m a coward, and
            Jareth scares me.

Sarah:      What kind of position is that?

Hoggle:     No position.  That’s my point.  And you wouldn’t be so brave
            if you’d ever smelt the bog of eternal stench.  It’s, it’s,
            it’s– aah!  Yuh.

Sarah:      Is that all it does is smell?

Hoggle:     Oh, believe me, that’s enough.  But the worst thing is, if you
            so much as put a foot in the bog of stench, you’ll smell
            bad for the rest of your life.  It’ll never wash off.  Ahh!
            Here we are, then.  You’re on your own from now on.

Sarah:      What?

Hoggle:     That’s it.  I quit.

Sarah:      Wait a minute.  Hoggle!

Hoggle:     I said I didn’t promise nothing.  I said I’d take you as far
            as I could go.

Sarah:      You little cheat, you nasty little cheat!

Hoggle:     Now, don’t try to embarrass me, I’ve got no pride.

Sarah:      Oh, yeah?

Hoggle:     But them’s my jewels!  Oh, you, give them back!  Give them
            back!  Give those back!  Oh, give them back to me!

Sarah:      Now.  There’s the castle.  Which way should we try?

Hoggle:     Them’s my rightful property!  It’s not fair!

Sarah:      No, it isn’t.  But that’s the way it is.

Wiseman:    Ohh…

Hoggle:     Hmm?  Ooh.

Sarah:      Excuse me, please, but can you help me?

Wiseman:    Oh!  A young girl!

Hat:        Whoo whoo whoo!

Wiseman:    And who is this?

Sarah:      My friend.

Wiseman:    Oh yes.  What can I do for you?

Sarah:      Please, can you tell me– that is, I have to get to the castle
            at the center of the labyrinth.  Do you know the way?

Wiseman:    Huh.

Hat:        Eh?

Wiseman:    Huh.

Hat:        Eh?

Wiseman:    Oh, yes.  Huh.  You want to get to the castle?  Huh?

Hat:        How’s that for brainpower, huh?

Wiseman:    Be quiet!

Hat:        Aw, nuts.

Wiseman:    So, young woman, the way forward is sometimes the way back.
            Hmm.

Hat:        Aye!  Will you listen to this crap!

Wiseman:    Will you please be quiet!

Hat:        All right.

Wiseman:    Ok?

Hat:        Ok.

Wiseman:    All right.

Hat:        All right.  Sorry.

Wiseman:    Finished?

Hat:        Yes.

Wiseman:    Quite often, young lady, it seems like we’re not getting
            anywhere, when, in fact…

Hat:        We are.

Wiseman:    We are.

Sarah:      Well I’m certainly not getting anywhere at the moment.

Hat:        Ha!  Join the club!

            [snore]

Hat:        I, uh, think that’s your lot.  Please leave a contribution
            in the little box.

Hoggle:     Don’t you dare!  Them’s mine!

Sarah:      Well… I guess I can spare this.

Hat:        Gracias, senorita.

Hoggle:     Oh, you didn’t have to give him that.  He didn’t tell you
            nothing.

Hat:        Well, well, then.  There go a couple of suckers.

            [snore]

Hat:        Oh!  It’s so stimulating being your hat.

Hoggle:     Why did you say that?  About my being your friend?

Sarah:      Because you are.  You may not be much of a friend, but you’re
            the only friend I’ve got in this place.

Hoggle:     Cor!  Huh!

Sarah:      Do you hear something?

Hoggle:     Oh.

Sarah:      No, that’s all right.

Hoggle:     Friend.  Huh!  I like that.  I ain’t never been no one’s
            friend before.

Ludo:       Yeeiaahh!

Hoggle:     Oh!  Good-bye!

Sarah:      Wait a minute!

Hoggle:     Keep the stuff!

Sarah:      Are you my friend or not?

Hoggle:     No, no I’m not!  Hoggle ain’t no one’s friend.  He looks after
            himself, like everyone.  Hoggle is Hoggle’s friend.

Sarah:      Hoggle!  You coward!

Ludo:       Aaarghh!

Sarah:      Well, I’m not afraid.  Things aren’t always what they seem in
            this place.

Ludo:       Grrr!  Yarggh!

Goblin:     Yry this for size, you big yeti!

Goblin:     Ha ha!  We got you now, fuzzball!  Ha ha ha!

Ludo:       Grrr!  Rraghh!

Goblins:    Heehoo yah!

Goblin:     Nippy, nippy, nip, nip!

Ludo:       Grrr!

            [chomp!]

Sarah:      If only I had something to throw…

Ludo:       Eeooww!

Goblins:    Ha ha ha!

Goblin:     Bite him on the teriyaki!

Goblin:     Saki to him!  Saki to him!

Goblins:    Ha ha ha!

            [clank!]

Goblin:     Oh! what happened?  Who turned out the lights?  I can’t see.

Goblin:     Aah!  Hey, why’d you bite me?

Goblin:     Who bite who?

Goblin:     Why’d you bite me?

Goblin:     I can’t see!  I can’t see!

            [clank!]

Goblin:     We’re under attack!  Retreat!

Goblin:     All right, who bit me?  Oh, my aching sushi!

Goblin:     Aye!

Ludo:       Yarrgh!  Yarrgh!  Yarrgh!

Sarah:      Now, stop that.

Ludo:       Yarrgh.  Hmm?

Sarah:      Is that any way to treat someone who’s trying to help you?

Ludo:       Hhrrr…

Sarah:      Don’t you want me to help you down?

Ludo:       Ludo… down.

Sarah:      Ludo?  Is that your name?

Ludo:       Ludo.

Sarah:      Oh, you seem like such a nice beast.  Well, I certainly hope
            you are what you seem to be.

Ludo:       Ah.  Ah!

Sarah:      Just hang on.  I’ll get you down.  Just a second.  Uh!  Oh,
            I’m sorry!  Oh, Ludo, are you hurt?

Ludo:       Oh.  Oh… ah.  Ah.  Huh.  Oh.  Friend?

Sarah:      That’s right, Ludo.  I’m Sarah.

Ludo:       Hhrrh.  Sarah.  Ah!  Ooh.

Sarah:      Oh, here, let me help you.  You ok?

Ludo:       Ah.  Whuah!  Huh.  Huh.  Sarah.  Sarah friend.  Yeah!

Sarah:      Now, wait, just a second.  I want to ask you something, Ludo.

Ludo:       Huh?  What?

Sarah:      I have to get to the castle at the center of the labyrinth.
            Do you know the way?

Ludo:       Hmm.  Ah…uh!  No.

Sarah:      You don’t know, either, huh?  I wonder if anyone knows how to get
            through this labyrinth.

Hoggle:     Get through the labyrinth?  Get through the labyrinth?  One
            thing’s for sure, she’ll never get through the labyrinth.  Ah.

Sarah:      Hey.

Ludo:       Hmm?

Sarah:      Where did they come from?

Ludo:       Hmm.

Sarah:      What do you think, Ludo?  Which should we choose out of these
            two ugly characters?

Ludo:       Mmm…

Knocker 1:  It’s very rude to stare!

Sarah:      Oh!  I’m sorry, I was just wondering which door to choose.

Knocker 1:  What?

Knocker 2:  Iz no gd askn hm, hs def asa pst.

Knocker 1:  Don’t talk with your mouth full!

Knocker 2:  Im nt tlkg wth my mth fll!

Sarah:      Wait a second, I can’t understand you.

Knocker 1:  What were you saying?

Knocker 2:  Ah!  Oh!  Oh!  It is so good to get that thing out!

Sarah:      What were you saying?

Knocker 2:  I said, it’s no good talking to him.  He’s deaf as a post.

Knocker 1:  Mumble, mumble, mumble.  You’re a wonderful conversational
            companion.

Knocker 2:  You can’t talk, all you do is moan!

Knocker 1:  No good, can’t hear you.

Knocker 2:  Oh.

Sarah:      Where do these doors lead?

Knocker 1:  What?

Knocker 2:  Search me.  We’re just the knockers.  Ha ha ha!

Sarah:      Oh.

Ludo:       Rrr.

Sarah:      How do I get through?

Knocker 1:  Huh?

Knocker 2:  Knock, and the door will open.

Sarah:      Oh.

Ludo:       Huh?

Sarah:      Ludo.

Ludo:       Huh.  Huh.  Ah!

Knocker 2:  No, no, I don’t want that back in my mouth.

Sarah:      Come on, I want to knock.

Knocker 2:  Mmm-mmm.

Knocker 1:  Heh.  Doesn’t want his ring back in his mouth, eh?  Can’t say
            I blame him.

Knocker 2:  Umph!  Mmm!  Mmm!  Mhhh!  Mmmhhh… ah!

Ludo:       Yes!

            [mumbling]

Sarah:      Sorry.

Knocker 2:  That’s all right, I’m used to it.

Sarah:      Come on, Ludo.

            [door closes]

Ludo:       Huh?  Ohhh.

Goblin:     You see, get the ball in the… da da da.

            [burp!]

Jareth:     You’re welcome.

            [baby crying]

Jareth:     Well he’s a lively little chap.  I think I’ll call him Jareth.
            He’s got my eyes.

Goblins:    Ha ha ha!  Ha ha ha!

Ludo:       Ohh… Ludo scared.

Sarah:      Oh, give me your hand.  Come on.  Imagine a big thing like you
            being scared.

Ludo:       Yeah.

Sarah:      See, ludo, there’s nothing to be afraid of.

Ludo:       Oh!

Sarah:      Ludo?  Ludo?  Ludo?  Ludo, where are you?

Sarah:      [from afar] Ludo!

Hoggle:     Bah!

Sarah:      [from afar] Hoggle, help!

Hoggle:     I’m coming, Sarah.

Jareth:     Well, if it isn’t you.  And where are you going?

Hoggle:     Uh, well, the little lady gave me the slip, but I just hears
            her now, so I was about to lead her back to the beginning like
            you told me.

Jareth:     I see.  For one moment, I thought you were running to help
            her.  But, uh, no, not after my warnings.  That would be
            stupid.

Hoggle:     Oh, you bet it would!  Me?  Help her?  After your warnings?
            Ha ha ha!

Jareth:     Oh, dear.  Poor Hoghead.

Hoggle:     Hoggle.

Jareth:     I’ve just noticed your lovely jewels are missing.

Hoggle:     Uh, oh, yes!  So they are.  My lovely jewels, missing.

Sarah:      [from afar] Ludo!

Hoggle:     I’d better find them.  But first, I’m off to take the little
            lady back to the beginning of the labyrinth, just like we
            planned.

Jareth:     Wait!  I’ve got a much better plan, Hoggle.  Give her this.

Hoggle:     W-what is it?

Jareth:     It’s a present.

Hoggle:     It-it ain’t going to hurt the little lady, is it?

Jareth:     Oh, now why the concern?

Hoggle:     I won’t do nothing to harm her.

Jareth:     Come, come, come, Hogbrain!  I’m surprised at you, losing your
            head over a girl.

Hoggle:     I ain’t lost my head.

Jareth:     You don’t think a young girl could ever like a repulsive
            little scab like you, do you?

Hoggle:     Well, she said we was–

Jareth:     What?  Bosom companions?  Friends?

Hoggle:     Ahh, don’t matter.

Jareth:     You’ll give her that, Hoggle, or I’ll tip you straight into
            the bog of eternal stench before you can blink!

Hoggle:     Yes.  Right.

Jareth:     And, Hoggle, if she ever kisses you, I’ll turn you into a
            prince.

Hoggle:     Y-you will?

Jareth:     Prince of the land of stench!  Ha ha ha!

Sarah:      Ludo?  Ludo?

            [snap]

            [tap tap tap]

Sarah:      What’s going on?

Firey:      Yah!  Ha ha ha!

Firey:      yahoo!

Sarah:      What do you want?

Firey:      Aha!

Firey:      We’re out to have a good time.

Firey:      That’s right!  Yeah!

Firey:      Whoo!

Firey:      [singing] Don’t have no problems

Fireys:     [singing] No problems

Firey:      [singing] Ain’t got no suitcase

Fireys:     [singing] No suitcase

Firey:      [singing] Ain’t got no clothes to worry about

Fireys:     [singing] No clothes to worry about

Firey:      [singing]
            Ain’t got no real estate
            Or jewelry or gold mines to hang me up
            I just throw in my hand

Fireys:     [singing] Throw in his hand

Firey:      [singing] With the chilliest bunch in the land

Fireys:     [singing] In the land

Firey:      [singing]
            They don’t look much
            But they’re sure chilly chilly
            They’re positively glow glow, huh!

Fireys:     [singing] chilly down with the wild gang
            Think small with the wild gang
            Bang hips with the wild gang

Firey:      Like I always said, don’t lose your head.

Fireys:     [singing] When your thing gets wild
            Chilly down, chilly down with the wild gang

Firey:      Hey, I’m a wild child!

Fireys:     [singing] Walk tall with the wild gang

Firey:      Whoo!  Walk tall!

Fireys:     [singing] Good times, bad food

Firey:      Bleh!  Blub blub blub blub!

Fireys:     [singing] when your thing gets wild chilly down, chilly down

Firey:      Yeah!

Firey:      Roll ‘em!

Fireys:     Snake eyes!

Firey:      Ha ha ha!

Firey:      Ah!

            [gulp!]

Firey:      All right!

Firey:      Whoo!  Whoo!

Firey:      Ooh!  Ooh!

Firey:      Grrr!

Firey:      Whoo!

Firey:      Yeah!

Firey:      Ooh!  Fore!

Firey:      Ha ha ha!

Firey:      [singing] So when things get too tough

Fireys:     [singing] Get too tough

Firey:      [singing] Your skin is dragging on the ground

Fireys:     [singing] Dragging on the ground

Firey:      [singing] And even down looks up

Fireys:     [singing] Down looks up

Firey:      [singing] Bad luck

Fireys:     Ha ha ha!

Firey:      [singing] We can show you a good time

Fireys:     [singing] Show you a good time

Firey:      [singing] And we don’t charge nothin’

Fireys:     [singing] Nothin’ at all

Firey:      [singing]
            Just strut your nasty stuff
            Wiggle in the middle, yeah
            Get the town talking, by god

Fireys:     [singing] Chilly down with the wild gang

Firey:      [singing] Think small

Fireys:     [singing] Think small with the wild gang

Firey:      Bang hips!

Fireys:     [singing] Bang hips with the wild gang

Firey:      Hey, listen up!

Fireys:     [singing] When your thing gets wild, chilly down, chilly down
            With the wild gang

Firey:      Shake your pretty little head.

Fireys:     [singing] Hang tall with the whild gang

Firey:      Tap your pretty little feet.

Fireys:     [singing] Good times, bad food

Firey:      Come on, come on!

Sarah:      Oh! Oh!

Firey:      Hey!  Hey!  Her head don’t come off!

Sarah:      Of course it doesn’t!

Firey:      She’s right.  It’s stuck on.

Firey:      Hey, hey.  Where you going with a head like that?

Firey:      I know what we can do.  Take off her head!

Firey:      Yeah, let’s take her apart!

Firey:      Hey, lady, that’s his head.  Hey, that’s my head.

Firey:      That’s a friend of mine.  Hey, what are you doing?

Firey:      Hey!

Firey:      Whoa!

Firey:      Hey, lady!  It’s against the rules to throw other people’s
            heads.

Firey:      You’re only allowed to throw your own head.

Firey:      That’s right!

Firey:      Where’s the referee?

Firey:      Now we get to take your head off!

Firey:      Stop her, somebody!  Stop her!

Firey:      Come back, little lady.  Play the game.

Firey:      Yeah.  Who gets to throw your head?

Firey:      Hey, you can’t quit!  The game’s not over!

            [whistle]

Firey:      Hey lady!

Sarah:      Leave me alone!

Firey:      We get a free throw.

Firey:      Hey lady, you want to take your head off, don’t you?

Firey:      ‘Course she does.

Sarah:      Hoggle!

Hoggle:     Grab it!

Firey:      Hey, don’t you want to look like us?

Sarah:      Leave me alone!

Firey:      Take off your head!

Firey:      Get a saw!

Firey:      Let us take off your arm!

Firey:      An ear!  Take off your ear!

Firey:      You don’t need two ears.

Firey:      The game’s almost over.

Hoggle:     Shoo!  Go away!

Sarah:      Hoggle!  You’ve come to help me!

Hoggle:     No.  Don’t kiss me!  Don’t kiss me!

Sarah:      Aah!  Aah!

Hoggle:     No, no, no, no, no!  Aah!  Uh!

Sarah:      Oh!  Hoggle!  Hold on!

Hoggle:     No!  Ooh!

Sarah:      Oh, my god!

Hoggle:     Blah!

            [fart!]

            [fart!]

            [fart!]

Sarah:      Uh!  What is it?

Hoggle:     The bog of eternal stench.  Bleh!  Uh!

Sarah:      I’ve never smelt anything like it.  It’s like… like…

            [fart! gag! burp!]

Hoggle:     Oh, it doesn’t matter what it’s like.  It’s the bog of eternal
            stench.  Help!

Sarah:      Uh!  Hold on!

            [burp!]

Sarah:      Uh!

Hoggle:     What did you have to go and do a thing like that for?

Sarah:      Do what?

            [faarrrt!]

Sarah:      You mean rescue you?

Hoggle:     What?  No!  You kissed me.

Sarah:      Aah!

Hoggle:     Oh, my gosh.

Sarah:      Don’t pretend to be so hard.  I know you came back to help me,
            and I know that you’re my friend.

Hoggle:     Did not!  Am not!  I’ve just come to get me property back.
            Oh, and, uh… uh, give you, give you, uh…

Sarah:      Give me what?

Hoggle:     Oh!  Ah!

Sarah:      Oh!  Hoggle!  Aah!  Ludo!

Ludo:       Smell.

Sarah:      Where’s Hoggle?

            [muffled shouting]

Hoggle:     Get off of me!

Sarah:      Oh, here!  Hoggle.  Oh no, it’s ok, this is Ludo.  He’s a
            friend too.

Hoggle:     A what?

Ludo:       Smell.

Sarah:      Oh, you’re right.

            [burp! fart!]

Hoggle:     Oh, my god!  Oh!  Uh…

            [wheezes]

Sarah:      There’s a bridge.  Come on.

Hoggle:     Watch it.  You step in this stuff, and you’ll stink forever.

Didymus:    Stop!  Stop, I say!

Sarah:      Please, we have to get across.

Didymus:    Without my permission, no one may cross.

Sarah:      Please, I only have a little time left.

Hoggle:     We’ve got to get out of this stench.

Ludo:       Smell bad!

Didymus:    Stench?  Of what speaketh thou?

Sarah:      The smell.

            [sniff]

Didymus:    I smell nothing.

Hoggle:     Oh, you’re joking.

Didymus:    But I live by my sense of smell.

            [sniff]

Didymus:    The air is sweet and fragrant, and none may pass without my
            permission!

Ludo:       Smell bad!

Hoggle:     Oh, get out of my way!

Didymus:    I’m sworn to do my duty!

Hoggle:     Ooh!

Sarah:      Come on, let us get across.

Didymus:    Hold!  Ooh!  I don’t want to have to hurt you!

Sarah:      Hoggle, what are you doing?

Didymus:    Let go of my staff!  Yaah!  Ha-ha!

Ludo:       Hmm?

Didymus:    All right, then.  I can conquer this mountain.

Ludo:       Grr!

Didymus:    Whoa!

Ludo:       Aah!

Didymus:    Aah!  Ha ha!  Yah, yah, yah!  Ruff ruff ruff!  Thou must do
            better than that!  Ha ha!  Give up?  Ha ha!  Enough!  Before
            this day, never have I met my match in battle, yet this noble
            knight hath fought me to a standstill!

Sarah:      Are you all right, Ludo?

Ludo:       Smell.

Didymus:    Sir Ludo, if that’s thy name, now I, Sir Didymus, yield to
            thee.  Come, let us be brothers henceforth and fight for the
            right as one!  Thank you very much.

Ludo:       Ludo get brother.

Didymus:    Well met, Sir Ludo.

Sarah:      Good.  Come on.

Didymus:    Wait a minute.  You forget my sacred vow, my lady.  I cannot
            let you pass.

Sarah:      But you just said Ludo is your brother.

Ludo:       Yeah.

Didymus:    I have taken an oath, and I must defend it to the death.

Ludo:       The smell!

Sarah:      Okay, let’s handle this thing logically.  What exactly have
            you sworn?

Didymus:    I have sworn with my lifeblood no one shall pass this way
            without my permission.

Sarah:      Well… may we have your permission?

Didymus:    Well, I, uh… uh…

Ludo:       No.

Didymus:    Yes?

Sarah:      Thank you noble sir.

Didymus:    My lady.

Sarah:      Uh-oh.

Didymus:    Have no fear, sweet lady.  This bridge has lasted for 1,000
            years.

Sarah:      No!

Didymus:    It seemed solid enough.

Sarah:      Hoggle!

Didymus:    Fear not, fair maiden, I will save thee… somehow.

Ludo:       Eeoooh!

Didymus:    Sir Ludo, canst thou sit by and howl when yon maiden needs our
            help?

Ludo:       Eeoooh!  Eeoooh!  Eeoooh!

Sarah:      That’s incredible, Ludo.

Didymus:    My brother, canst thou summon up the very rocks?

Ludo:       Sure.  Rocks friends.

Hoggle:     Yuck.

Sarah:      Hoggle.

Hoggle:     Here.

Sarah:      Thanks Hoggle.

            [fart!]

Sarah:      Be careful, Ludo.

            [fart!]

            [fart!]

            [faaart!]

            [fart!]

            [fart!]

            [fart!]

Didymus:    Sir Ludo, wait for me!  Oh, Ambrosious!  It’s all right,
            Ambrosious.  You can come out now.  Come on.  That-a boy.  My
            loyal steed.  Steady.  Up!  Forward.  Ah, steady!  Steady,
            boy.  Come on, Ambrosious.  Just close your eyes and go.

            [fart fart fart!]

            [fart fart fart fart!]

Sarah:      Let’s get out of here.

Didymus:    Excuse us. thank you.

            [Jareth] I wouldn’t do that if I were you.

Hoggle:     Oh please, I can’t give it to her.

Didymus:    Well, come on, then.  We should reach the castle well before
            day.

Jareth:     Look, sarah.  Is this what you’re trying to find?  So much
            trouble over such a little thing, but not for long.  She’ll
            soon forget all about you, my fine fellow, just as soon as
            Hoggle gives her my present.  Then she’ll forget everything.

            [bubbling]

Didymus:    Is that my stomach or yours, Ambrosious?

Ludo:       Hungry.

Sarah:      Yeah.  Well, we can’t stop now.  Maybe we can find some
            berries or something.

Hoggle:     Uh, Sarah?

Sarah:      Yeah?

Hoggle:     Uh, here.

Sarah:      Hoggle!  Oh, thank you.  You’re a lifesaver!  This tastes
            strange.

Hoggle:     Oh!

Sarah:      Hoggle, what have you done?

Hoggle:     Oh, damn you, Jareth!  And damn me, too!

Sarah:      Everything’s dancing.

Didymus:    Yea, verily!  Whoa, Ambrosious!  Whoa!  The castle doth lie
            yonder, my lady.  My lady?

Ludo:       Hmm?

Didymus:    My lady?  My lady?

Dancer:     Ha ha ha!

Jareth:     [singing]
            There’s such a sad love
            Deep in your eyes
            A kind of pale jewel
            Opened and closed within your eyes
            I’ll place the sky
            Within your eyes
            There’s such a fooled heart
            Beating so fast
            In search of new dreams
            A love that will last
            Within your heart
            I’ll place the moon
            Within your heart
            As the pain sweeps through
            Makes no sense for you
            Every thrill has gone
            Wasn’t too much fun at all
            But I’ll be there for you
            As the world falls down
            It’s falling
            It’s falling down
            Falling in love
            I’ll paint you mornings of gold
            I’ll spin you valentine evenings
            Though we’re strangers till now
            We’re choosing a path
            Between the stars
            I’ll lay my love
            Between the stars
            As the pain sweeps through
            Makes no sense for you
            Every thrill has gone
            Wasn’t too much fun at all
            But I’ll be there for you
            As the world falls down
            It’s falling
            As the world falls down
            It’s falling
            It’s falling
            As the world falls down
            It’s falling
            It’s falling
            It’s falling
            Falling in love
            It’s falling

Dancer:     Aah!  Aah!  Aah!

Hoggle:     Oh, she’ll never forgive me.  What have I done?  I’ve lost my
            only friend, that’s what I’ve done.  Oh!

Sarah:      What was I doing?  Ew!  Ooh!

Junk Lady:  Ow!  Get off my back!  Why don’t you look where you’re going,
            young woman, hmm?

Sarah:      I was looking.

Junk Lady:  Huh?  Where were you going, hmm?

Sarah:      I don’t remember.

Junk Lady:  You can’t look where you’re going if you don’t know where
            you’re going.

Sarah:      I was searching for something.

Junk Lady:  Well, look here!  Hmm?

Sarah:      Lancelot?  Thank you.

Junk Lady:  That’s what you were looking for, wasn’t it, my dear?

Sarah:      Yes, I forgot.

Junk Lady:  Now, why don’t you come in here and see if there’s anything
            else you like, hmm?  Ha ha ha!

Sarah:      Oh!  Ah.  Oh!  It was just a dream.  I dreamed it all,
            Lancelot.  But it was so real.  Let’s go see if daddy’s back,
            ok?

Junk Lady:  Better to stay in here, dear.  Yes, there’s nothing you want
            out there.  No, oh, no!  Ooh, what have we got here?

Sarah:      Lancelot…

Junk Lady:  Oh, your little bunny rabbit!  You like your little bunny
            rabbit, don’t you?  Yes, yes, yes!, there you go.  Oh, and
            there’s betsy boo.  You remember betsy boo, don’t you?  Yes,
            yes, yes!  Now then, what else have we got?  What’s this?
            Ooh, let’s have a look.  Oh it’s a pencil box.  Got lots of
            pencils!  Here’s your panda slippers.  You know how much you
            liked your panda slippers!  You never wanted them thrown away,
            did you?  There they are.  That’s right, that’s right.  Okay
            then, what else?  Oh, it’s little horsie.  You love little
            horsie, don’t you dear.  And look at this!  You got a printing
            game, you have.  Oh, here’s a treasure.  You’ll want that,
            won’t you, my dear?  Yes, go on.  Put it on.  Make yourself up.
            And here’s dear old flopsie.  You’ll want her, right?  There
            you go.  Oh, yes.  Oh, yes.  Charlie bear.  Right.  There’s
            charlie bear for you, hmm?

Sarah:      There was something I was looking for.

Junk Lady:  Ah, don’t talk nonsense.  It’s all here.  Everything in the
            world you’ve ever cared about is all right here.  Here’s your
            little toy candy shop!

Sarah:      “Through dangers untold… and hardships unnumbered, I have
            fought my way here to the castle… beyond the goblin city to
            take back the child that you hath stolen.”

Junk Lady:  What’s the matter, my dear?  Don’t you like your toys?

Sarah:      It’s all junk.

Junk Lady:  Huh?  Well, what about this?  This is not junk.  Hmm?

Sarah:      Yes, it is!  I have to save Toby!

Didymus:    My lady!  Arf arf!  Are you all right?

Ludo:       Sarah?

Didymus:    My lady!

Ludo:       Sarah?

Didymus:    Fair maiden, thank goodness, thou art safe at last!

Sarah:      Where are we?

Ludo:       Sarah back.

Didymus:    My lady, look! we’re almost there.  Those are the gates to the
            goblin city.

Sarah:      Ludo, Sir Didymus.  Let’s go quickly.  We don’t have much
            time.

Ludo:       Yeah.

Didymus:    Right.  Ambrosious, forward!

Hoggle:     Oh, no!

Didymus:    Open up!  Open the door!

Sarah:      Shh!  Sir Didymus, we must go quietly.

Didymus:    Arf arf!  Open up!  Open up right now!

Sarah:      Sir Didymus, you’ll wake the guard.  Quiet!

Didymus:    Well, let them all wake up!

Sarah:      Shh!

Didymus:    I shall fight you all to the death!  Arf arf arf!

Sarah:      Shh, please, Sir Didymus, for my sake, hush!

Didymus:    But of course.  For thee, anything.  But I am not a coward?

Sarah:      No.

Didymus:    And my sense of smell is keen?

Sarah:      Yes.

Didymus:    Then I shall fight anyone, anywhere, anyplace, anytime!

Sarah:      We all know.  Now hush.  Now quietly.

Didymus:    Ambrosious, be quiet now.  I don’t see why we have to be so
            quiet.  It’s only a goblin city.

Sarah:      I smell trouble.

            [slam!]

Ludo:       Gah!

Sarah:      Come on, Ludo.  Oh, no!

Ludo:       Grr!

Sarah:      What is that?

Humongous:  who goes?

Didymus:    Arf arf arf!

Humongous:  Who goes?

Didymus:    Arf arf arf!

Ludo:       Gah!

Humongous:  Who goes?

Didymus:    Arf arf arf!

Sarah:      Watch out!

Didymus:    Ambrosious!  Arf arf!

Sarah:      Duck!

Didymus:    Ambrosious, will you come here!  Ambrosious, come here right
            now!  Will you please come over.  You’re embarrassing me.

Sarah:      Oh, Ludo!  Hoggle!

Ludo:       Huh?

Hoggle:     Yah!

Goblin:     Aah!

Hoggle:     Look out!  Get out of there!  Bombs away!

Goblin:     Blaah!  That wasn’t very nice.

Ludo:       Grr!

Goblin:     Aah!

Hoggle:     My turn now!  How do you drive this thing?

Sarah:      Drop the ax!

Hoggle:     I’m trying!

Didymus:    Come here at once.

            [whistles]

Hoggle:     Oh, where’s reverse?  Aah!

Sarah:      Get out of there, Hoggle!

Hoggle:     Abandon ship!  Yah!

Sarah:      Hoggle!  Oh, Hoggle, are you all right?

Hoggle:     I’m not asking to be forgiven.  I ain’t ashamed of nothing
            I did.  Jareth made me give you that peach.  I don’t care what
            you think of me.  I told you I was a coward.  And I ain’t
            interested in being friends.

Sarah:      I forgive you, Hoggle.

Hoggle:     You–you do?

Didymus:    And I commend you.  Rarely have I seen such courage.  You are
            a valiant man, Sir Hoggle.

Hoggle:     Huh…I am?

Ludo:       Uuuh.  Hoggle and Ludo friends.

Hoggle:     We are?

Sarah:      Here are your things, Hoggle.  Thanks for your help.

Hoggle:     Well, what are we waiting for?  Huh?  Let’s get that rat who
            calls himself Jareth.

Sarah:      Right!  Come on!

Didymus:    Ambrosius, it’s safe now.  Nothing to be afraid of.

Hoggle:     Argh!  Ah!

Cat:        Meow meow.

Goblin:     Your highness!  Your highness!  The girl!

Jareth:     What?

Goblin:     The girl who ate the peach and forgot everything!

Jareth:     What of her?

Goblin:     She’s here with the monster and Sir Didymus and the dwarf are
            with her!

Jareth:     What?

Goblin:     They got through the gates and they’re on their way to the castle!

Jareth:     Stop her!  Call out the guards.  Take the baby and hide it.

Goblins:    Guards!

Jareth:     She must be stopped!  Do something!  Come on, move!  Move!

Sarah:      I think we’re going to make it!

Hoggle:     Oh, piece of cake!

Goblin:     Company, halt!  Lancers, ready!  Cannon, fire!  Charge!
            Charge!  Charge!

Sarah:      Oh!  Run!

Didymus:    Ambrosius, turn about!

Sarah:      Quick!  This way!

Didymus:    All right, charge!  No, not that way!  You’re going the wrong
            way!  The battle’s behind us!  Ambrosius, can we please talk
            about this?  Sit!

Sarah:      Ok.  Through here.  Ok, come on, guys.

Didymus:    Ambrosius, if you don’t turn around this second, I will never
            feed you again!

            [screech]

Didymus:    That’s better.

Ambrosius:  Arrh!

Didymus:    Don’t worry Ambrosius. I think we’ve got them surrounded.

Sarah:      Didymus!  Where’s Didymus?

Goblin:     Fire!

Goblin:     I hit something, yes?  No?

Sarah:      We’ve got to find Didymus.  Down this way.

Goblin:     Whoa.

Didymus:    Grrrr!  Rrrrr!  Charge!  Ha ha ha!  Tallyho!  Aah!  Ah!  Ah!
            Uh!  Ambrosius, you coward!  Oh!  Ah!  Ah!  Ambrosius!

Sarah:      Ooh!  Quick, in here!

Hoggle:     Ooh, how’s Ludo going to get in?

Ludo:       Yrrurh!  Nnh!

Goblin:     You in there, you’re surrounded!

Ludo:       Huh?  Surrounded?

Sarah:      Get out!  Ludo, call the rocks!

Ludo:       Huh?

Goblin:     Aaah!

Ludo:       Eeoooh!

Goblin:     Take that!

Sarah:      Ah!  Hurry!  Great!  Ludo!

Didymus:    Ambrosius, unlock this door!  Huh!  So, had enough, have you?
            All right, then, throw down your weapons, and I’ll see that
            you’re well-treated.

Sarah:      Yah!  Ludo!

Ludo:       Eeoooh!

Didymus:    Next time, surrender.

Ludo:       Eeoooh!

Goblin:     Oh!  Yoh, yoh!

Goblin:     Aah!  Good grief!

Goblin:     Steady, men!  Steady, men!  Hold your ground!  Ok, I take it
            back!  Run for your lives!

Goblin:     I’ve had enough!  I’m going to bed!

Goblin:     Get out of my house!

Hoggle:     Let’s go!

Goblin:     Aah!

Sarah:      Whoa, nellie!  Duck!

Hoggle:     Ha ha!  Missed!

Sarah:      Ok, come on!

Goblin:     Fire!  Ugh!  Hey, I just fired you!

Sarah:      This way.

Goblin:     Now we have you!

Hoggle:     And now you don’t!

            [gunfire]

Goblin:     Hey, no problem.

Sarah:      Sir Didymus!

Didymus:    Coming!  Hi-ho, silver!

Sarah:      Uh!

Ludo:       Nnnnh!

Didymus:    Whoa, boy!  Whoa, big fella!

Sarah:      This way.

Didymus:    Whoa!  Steady, boy!  Ah, yes.  Up you go!  Up, up!  Come on.
            Come on.

Sarah:      Oh no!  That’s the only way you could have gone.

Hoggle:     Well, then, come on!

Sarah:      No, no.  I have to face him alone.

Didymus:    But why?

Hoggle:     Yes.

Sarah:      Because that’s the way it’s done.

Didymus:    Well if that’s the way it’s done, then that is the way you must
            do it.  But should you need us…

Ludo:       Uhrr.

Hoggle:     Yes, should you need us…

Sarah:      I’ll call.  Thank you, all of you.

Jareth:     [singing]
            How you’ve turned my world
            You precious thing
            You starve and near exhaust me
            Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you
            I move the stars for no one
            You’ve run so long
            You’ve run so far
            Your eyes can be so cruel
            Just as I can be so cruel
            Though I do believe in you

Sarah:      Toby!

Jareth:     [singing]
            Yes, I do
            Live without your sunlight
            Love without your heartbeat
            I… I can’t live within you

Sarah:      Toby!  Toby!  Toby!  Give me the child.

Jareth:     Sarah, beware.  I have been generous up until now, but I can
            be cruel.

Sarah:      Generous!  What have you done that’s generous?

Jareth:     Everything!  Everything that you wanted I have done.  You
            asked that the child be taken.  I took him.  You cowered
            before me.  I was frightening.  I have reordered time.
            I have turned the world upside-down, and I have done it all
            for you!  I am exhaused from living up to your expectations of
            me.  Isn’t that generous?

Sarah:      Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought
            my way here to the castle beyond the goblin city, for my will
            is as strong as yours, and my–

Jareth:     Stop!  Wait!  Look, Sarah.  Look what I’m offering you–your
            dreams.

Sarah:      And my kingdom as great.

Jareth:     I ask for so little, just let me rule you, and you can have
            everything that you want.

Sarah:      Kingdom is great… damn!  I can never remember that line.

Jareth:     Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.

Sarah:      My kingdom is great.  My kingdom is great…  You have
            no power over me.  You have no power over me!

            [clock chimes]

Sarah:      Toby.  Toby!  Toby?  Toby?  Here you are.  I’d like Lancelot
            to belong to you now.

            [door opens]

Father:     We’re home!  Sarah, are you home?

Sarah:      Yeah!  Yes, I’m home.

Ludo:       Good-bye, Sarah.

Didymus:    And remember, fair maiden, should you need us…

Hoggle:     Yes, should you need us for any reason at all…

Sarah:      I need you, Hoggle.

Hoggle:     You–you do?

Sarah:      I don’t know why, but every now and again in my life, for no
            reason at all, I need you–all of you.

Hoggle:     Oh, you do?  Well, why didn’t you say so?

Sarah:      Yeah!  Ludo!

Firey:      Ha ha ha ha ha!

Didymus:    I say, does anyone want to play a game of scrabble?

Jareth:     [singing] You remind me of the babe
Goblin:     [singing] What babe?
Jareth:     [singing] The babe with the power
Goblin:     [singing] What power?
Jareth:     [singing] The power of voodoo
Goblin:     [singing] Who do?
Jareth:     [singing] You do
Goblin:     [singing] Do what?
Jareth:     [singing] Remind me of the babe

[Music]     [credits]
            Daddy, daddy, get me out of here
            Heard about a place today
            Ah ha, I’m underground
            Nothin’ ever hurts again
            Heard about a place today
            Daddy, get me out of here
            Where nothin’ ever hurts again
            Wanna go underground
            Daddy, daddy, get me out of here
            Wanna go underground
            Ah ha, I’m underground
            Get me underground
            Sister, sister, please take me down
            Ah ha, I’m underground
            Wanna go underground
            Daddy, daddy, get me out of here
            No one can blame you
            For walking away
            But too much rejection, uh-huh
            No love injection, no
            Life can be easy
            It’s not always swell
            Don’t tell me truth hurts, little girl
            ‘Cause it hurts like hell
            Hurts like hell
            Hurts like hell
            But down in the underground
            Oh ohh ohh ohh oh
            You’ll find someone true
            Down underground
            Down in the underground
            Oh ohh ohh ohh oh
            A land serene
            A crystal moon
            Ah-hah
            It’s only forever
            Not long at all
            Lost and lonely
            That’s underground
            Underground
            Daddy, daddy, get me out of here
            Heard about a place today
            Ah ha, I’m underground
            Nothin’ ever hurts again
            Heard about a place today
            Daddy, get me out of here
            Where nothin’ ever hurts again
            Wanna go underground
            Daddy, daddy, get me out of here
            Wanna go underground
            Ah ha, I’m underground
            Get me underground
            Sister, sister, please take me down
            Ah ha, I’m underground
            Wanna go undergound
            Daddy, daddy, get me out of here
            It’s only
            It’s only forever
            It’s not long at all
            They’re lost and they’re lonely
            That’s underground
            Underground
            Daddy, daddy, get me out of here
            Heard about a place today
            Heard about a place today
            Nothin’ ever hurts again
            Nothin’ ever hurts again
            Daddy, daddy, get me out of here
            Daddy, get me out of here
            Ah ha, I’m underground
            Wanna go underground
            Sister, sister, please take me down
            Let me go undergound
            Ah ha, I’m undergound
            Get me underground
            Daddy, daddy, get me out
            Wanna live underground
            Wanna live underground
            Wanna live underground
            Wanna live underground
            Wanna live underground
            Wanna live underground
            Wanna live underground
            Wanna live underground
            Daddy, daddy, get me out of here
            I’m moving down now
            Ah ha, I’m underground
            I’m living underground
            Sister, sister, please take me down
            I’m living underground
            Ah ha, I’m underground
            I’m living underground
            Ah ha, I’m underground
            I’m living underground
            Ah ha, I’m underground
            I’m living underground
            Daddy, daddy, please
            Where nothin’ ever hurts again
            Daddy, daddy, please
            Where nothin’ ever hurts again
            Heard about a place today
            Where nothin’ ever hurts again
            Wanna live underground
            Where nothin’ ever hurts again
            Wanna live underground
            Wanna live underground
            Wanna live underground

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